Madeleine* came to counseling because her mother was concerned about her crying a lot. She was becoming very anxious and had a hard time separating from her mother. Mom was a single mother and, after several years on her own, was trying to date. Madeleine would cry and beg her mother not to leave the house and several evenings out were cancelled at the last minute in an attempt to appease her daughter. On the evenings she was able to go out, Madeleine’s mother was overwhelmed with guilt knowing her daughter would be lying in bed awake until she saw her mother had returned home.

Madeleine’s mother came to see me in the hopes of being able to “have a life” while at the same time be the best mother to her daughter as possible.

In counseling, Madeleine and I explored her worries. Together we created a Worry Web. Using yarn we identified worries that we had and then measured out how big the worry was. Together we taped the yarn to either side of the room and created a gigantic web. We then chose one worry that we determined had to go…”My mommy loves her boyfriends more than me.” I had her cut up that piece of yarn and with each cut she said, “My mommy LOVES me” or “I’m still my mommy’s favorite.” With each cut she got louder and louder and the message in those statements rang more and more true for her. I asked if we could give mommy the pieces of yarn and her mother promised that each time she went out with a friend, she would give Madeleine a piece of string and tell her, “You’ll always be my favorite.” Madeleine was able to say good-night to her mother as she went out with her friends and the babysitter reported that Madeleine would go to bed without incident. Each morning after an evening with her mother out, Madeleine was overjoyed to find that her mother had come into her room upon her return and left another piece of the cut up Worry Web by her bed.

*This story is a composite of clients. Real names are not used to protect confidentiality.